Big Sis

“I blame my parents. I grew up in one of those loving families that fail to prepare a person for real life…” —excerpt from the video diary of Alice MacLeod, 15

She plays a headstrong, socially awkward teenager in the new Comedy Network series Alice, I Think(catch it Sunday nights at 7 p.m. ET on CTV). But when we asked Carly McKillip, 16, to step into the role of Big Sis for FASHION18, the Vancouver native proved she’s wise beyond her years.

Here’s what she had to say:

LOSING A FRIEND
Q: I was best friends with this girl since kindergarten and we have so many memories together. But lately it seems like she doesn’t like me anymore. She has changed so much and acts like she’s too cool to be friends with me. Lately she’s been hanging out with another girl who is more popular than I am, and I feel like I’m being pushed aside. We used to share everything, and now she won’t even open up to me, and I even catch her lying in front of me. This really hurts me, because I really considered her a true friend. 
—babii_gurl, fashion18.com forum user

A: High school can be very hard, especially when you’re meeting a whole bunch of new people and experiencing new things. You guys seem like you have been very close for a long time and if you consider her a true friend, I don’t think she would deliberately try to push you aside. You may be feeling left out because she has been a very good friend for a long time and now things are changing. Meeting people and establishing new relationships and friendships are a part of life and you will constantly experience change in the years to come. Just because she has a new friend doesn’t mean you two can’t be friends anymore. Maybe tell her how you have been feeling and ask her where she’s at in her life. If you really value her friendship and miss spending time with her, let her know, and suggest that the two of you go for dinner one night or see a movie, just the two of you, to reaffirm your friendship. As long as both of you know where you stand with each other, other people won’t get in the way.

DO I REALLY WANT HIM BACK?
Q: I broke up with my boyfriend in January because we saw each other all the time, and I was starting to find him kind of annoying. Recently, he started dating a new girl and suddenly I find myself missing him. We have three classes together and sometimes I catch him staring at me. And the other day in class I said something funny and he looked at me and laughed, and we ended up talking and joking and it felt like old times. I couldn’t stop smiling. I think I like him again, which sounds crazy because I’m the one who broke up with him. Now I don’t know what to do.
—arielly, fashion18.com forum user

A: Relationships can be very difficult, especially in high school. It’s totally natural to want to experience new things and be with other people when you are young—you are still figuring out who you are and what you want. Now that you have spent some time apart and you realize how much you miss the time you two used to share together, you are in a position to make a better decision. My advice would be to give it some time and take things slow. Nothing has to happen now, and nothing is written in stone. Start spending more time together and see how it feels. If it feels right, pursue it. If after you hang out you realize that there really is no attraction, the feelings you’re experiencing could be jealousy, which is pretty common—after all, you’re only human.  Feel it out a little bit, and then decide whether you two should be together or whether you’re better off as friends.

BOYFRIEND OBSESSION
Q: I think my best friend is obsessed with her boyfriend. She keeps cancelling plans with me to hang out with him. Last week she invited me over for dinner to celebrate her birthday, and later she told me that her boyfriend’s mom invited her over for supper on the same night—and didn’t even mention that she had plans with me. Also, when we’re working on a school project, I do most of the work because she's emailing her boyfriend. It's so frustrating! And another thing, she always told me that she was going to wait until marriage to have sex. Well, she just went on the pill. I guess her boyfriend seems like a nice guy and he treats her well, but some of his friends told me that he's cheating on her. I feel like she's giving everything to this guy and I just don't think he's worth it. He's all she talks about and I think it's consuming her life.
—sk8kristi, fashion18.com forum user

A: First of all, your friend’s boyfriend sounds like a little bit of a jerk. However, when you’re young and you really like someone, sometimes it’s easy to be blinded by fantasy and ignore reality. It’s completely natural when you have your first real relationship to want to spend a lot of time with that person. I have been going out with my boyfriend now for three years and when I first met him, I would want to spend a lot of time with him.  Looking back now, I realize that I might have pushed away some of my best girl friends I grew up with. At the time, it’s hard to notice what you are doing to the other people in your life because this new relationship is so exciting and new. Luckily, my true friends—the ones whom I grew up with—gave me the space I needed until the thrill and excitement settled down a bit, and everything was back to normal. Also, knowing how to balance your time between friends, boyfriends, school and other things can be pretty challenging. If this guy is truly bad news, eventually your friend will find out, even if it has to be the hard way. I think this is one lesson that she will have to learn on her own. Stick by your friend because when the truth comes out about this guy, she’s going to need you more than ever. Guys come and go, but friends are forever, and this situation is a perfect example of that!